Concerns of Girls Conflicting with their Parents about Spouse Selection

Zahra  Shafiee; Maryam  Fatehizade; Faramarz  Asanjarani

doi:10.18502/qjcr.v23i92.17847

Zahra Shafiee PhD in Family Counseling, Department of Counseling, Faculty of Education & Psychology, University of Isfahan, Iran.
Maryam Fatehizade PhD in Family Counseling, professor, Department of Counseling, Faculty of Education & Psychology, University of Isfahan, Iran
Faramarz Asanjarani PhD in Family Counseling, Assistant professor, Department of Counseling, Faculty of Education & Psychology, University of Isfahan, Iran.

DOI: https://doi.org/10.18502/qjcr.v23i92.17847

Keywords: Spouse selection, fear of marriage, phenomenological study, delay in marriage, unmarried girls

Abstract

Aim: This research was done with the aim of revealing the concerns of unmarried girls before marriage. Methods: The phenomenological method was used to conduct this research. For this purpose, a semi-structured interview was conducted with fifteen 20–30 year-old single girls on the verge of marriage who reported having conflicts with their parents about marriage. The data was analyzed using content analysis, based on the Claysey analysis method. Findings: In this study, 2 main themes and 20 sub-themes were extracted, which include: a). parents' perceived concerns (with 6 sub-themes); and b). girls' concerns (with 14 sub-themes). The results of the analysis showed that the perceived concerns of parents in the field of marriage include: parents' belief that youngsters seek excitement, fear of the girl getting older, fear of the girl being helpless and alone, wrong selection by the daughter, and lack of readiness and maturity, and unfamiliarity with the boy dating. The worries of single girls on the verge of marriage include: compatibility with the husband's family, problems after marriage, fear of marriage, difficulty in compatibility with the future spouse, worry about the future, feeling of being limited in marriage, lack of progress after marriage, prediction of dissatisfaction after marriage, moving away from family, fear of future spouse's possible betrayal, lack of another date in the future, excessive negligence by parents in marriage and the effect of negative characteristics of the girl in marriage and marriage with an ideal person. Conclusion: It seems that girls on the verge of marriage suffer from a fear and worry about marriage and its related issues, which brings annoying consequences such as delay in marriage, therefore changes in the organization of attitudinal-cognitive and behavioral patterns it is needed.